I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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