Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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