Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize