If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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