he puts the penis in happiness.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize