This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
