I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.