I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother