Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program