Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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