she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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