doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
