He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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