I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
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i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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