I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.