I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.