can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.