My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
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i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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