we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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