bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
