FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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