i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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