its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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