I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
