Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
