three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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