I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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