Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize