Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?