If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
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the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.