My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize