I wanna passion pit in your ass
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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