come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
