How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
