i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?