when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks