I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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