Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
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You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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