Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
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I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.