Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.