Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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