Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
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she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
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You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.