the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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