I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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