So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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