Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
