I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize