I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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