I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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