first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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