My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
