I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
honey bunches of taint.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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