Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.