The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
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My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.