She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
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I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
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seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller