Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.