Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.

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(301): just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom. http://tfl.nu/qack

Replies (30) Good night (5440) Bad night (1198)
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(216): View more from Ohio

somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.

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(216): somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen. http://tfl.nu/y8ck

Replies (17) Good night (9187) Bad night (1176)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Don't worry. I has chaperone.

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(270): Don't worry. I has chaperone. http://tfl.nu/r0c5

Replies (24) Good night (6255) Bad night (1312)
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(587): View more from Alberta

She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra

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(587): She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra http://tfl.nu/6lbp

Replies (8) Good night (3152) Bad night (1017)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY

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(609): These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY http://tfl.nu/f90k

Replies (12) Good night (959) Bad night (2545)
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(213): View more from California

The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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(213): The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out. http://tfl.nu/jmae

Replies (4) Good night (2290) Bad night (815)
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(315): View more from New York

Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?

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(315): Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay? http://tfl.nu/8s61

Replies (14) Good night (2289) Bad night (1014)
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(518): View more from New York

I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.

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(518): I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice. http://tfl.nu/enx3

Replies (3) Good night (1612) Bad night (586)
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(210): View more from Texas

Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.

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(210): Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move. http://tfl.nu/2sh4

Replies (4) Good night (1283) Bad night (739)
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(805): View more from California

I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.

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(805): I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it. http://tfl.nu/eeuf

Replies (4) Good night (851) Bad night (1393)
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(404): View more from Georgia

You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.

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(404): You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control. http://tfl.nu/g1ps

Replies (9) Good night (1800) Bad night (2610)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.

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(630): Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face. http://tfl.nu/i080

Replies (8) Good night (633) Bad night (1333)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.

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(724): Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies. http://tfl.nu/sr2h

Replies (17) Good night (2899) Bad night (717)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.

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(309): Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash. http://tfl.nu/otoe

Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (1432)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I fill condoms, not promises.

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(812): I fill condoms, not promises. http://tfl.nu/fzpc

Replies (4) Good night (1570) Bad night (638)

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