I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
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Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out