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• (813): View more from Florida

  Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Whoa, Gary Coleman died

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Whatchu talkin bout?!?!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Too soon.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (315): View more from New York

  I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.

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• (310): View more from California

  Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.

  (904): View more from Florida

  I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again

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