I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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