Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex. http://tfl.nu/eqpv

Replies (16) Good night (4247) Bad night (698)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt? http://tfl.nu/7oa6

Replies (97) Good night (793) Bad night (4261)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

she sounds like chewbacca in bed

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): she sounds like chewbacca in bed http://tfl.nu/5g24

Replies (32) Good night (1264) Bad night (7118)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine. http://tfl.nu/wyxo

Replies (9) Good night (4997) Bad night (1085)
Favorite
(314): View more from Missouri

I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(314): I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it. http://tfl.nu/3rlt

Replies (12) Good night (1003) Bad night (5805)
Favorite
(740): View more from Ohio

well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(740): well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful." http://tfl.nu/nfe2

Replies (11) Good night (1611) Bad night (6061)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me. http://tfl.nu/4mjy

Replies (14) Good night (3223) Bad night (1217)
Favorite
(208): View more from Idaho

Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(208): Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend. http://tfl.nu/hn01

Replies (5) Good night (2680) Bad night (821)
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk http://tfl.nu/2ycv

Replies (13) Good night (3958) Bad night (1238)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable http://tfl.nu/cijd

Replies (13) Good night (737) Bad night (2000)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds. http://tfl.nu/uk4u

Replies (4) Good night (585) Bad night (952)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me http://tfl.nu/egc4

Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (356)
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week. http://tfl.nu/fbwq

Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (597)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle. http://tfl.nu/esvn

Replies (0) Good night (964) Bad night (510)
Favorite
(402): View more from Nebraska

I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(402): I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/86v9

Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (336)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard