Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.