between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
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so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.