hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?