Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  you definitely have a few illegitimate kids

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine

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  (407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids (1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine http://tfl.nu/6feu
  Replies (32) Good night (3629) Bad night (1646)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...

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  (832): Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it... http://tfl.nu/2lrl
  Replies (9) Good night (666) Bad night (3752)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I see a marketing opportunity

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  (703): I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off! (1-703): I see a marketing opportunity http://tfl.nu/gn9o
  Replies (61) Good night (4599) Bad night (808)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

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  (920): You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now. http://tfl.nu/yhp5
  Replies (26) Good night (1731) Bad night (7284)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie

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  (860): i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie http://tfl.nu/y2j0
  Replies (17) Good night (4591) Bad night (1911)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.

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  (412): I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together. http://tfl.nu/59bc
  Replies (14) Good night (937) Bad night (4114)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.

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  (678): Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody. http://tfl.nu/1fu4
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (2147)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo

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  (303): Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo http://tfl.nu/0kme
  Replies (10) Good night (3438) Bad night (1410)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure

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  (507): I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure http://tfl.nu/8ozd
  Replies (5) Good night (2516) Bad night (1047)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"

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  (207): That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain" http://tfl.nu/84lt
  Replies (3) Good night (1544) Bad night (863)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.

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  (703): I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you. http://tfl.nu/i8ov
  Replies (5) Good night (1430) Bad night (510)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.

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  (765): His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison. http://tfl.nu/cqq3
  Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (633)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...

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  (914): Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much... http://tfl.nu/zii3
  Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (522)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.

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  (816): I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome. http://tfl.nu/4io1
  Replies (3) Good night (1002) Bad night (327)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick

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  (785): U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick http://tfl.nu/it39
  Replies (7) Good night (1402) Bad night (303)

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