I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The struggles of a small town man whore