Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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