i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
