At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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